It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
