The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
