oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
