Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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