return my video game
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Randomize
