She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
