No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
