so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
They have beer where we have blood.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize