ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
