I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
