I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
