please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize