Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
