this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize