please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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