i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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