It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
