then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
