Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
