They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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