shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Too much gin, very little bucket
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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