I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
