paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
