I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
