Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
