Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I need a beard to bite.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize