my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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