I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
