Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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