she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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