those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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