very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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