We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize