Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
