can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
