Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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