About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
