I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
