If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
