Why are handjobs necessary in class?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
