Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
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