Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
