The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
