I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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