He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize