i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
