It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
