Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
