I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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