singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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