People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
