I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
