Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
