Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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