And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize