On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
