also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
