put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
