Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
