Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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