You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
