OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
