I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i've created a new STD.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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