Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
