This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
